This is probably one of the most talked about topics on blog sites, among men and women, women and women, and men and men. Everyone has their opinion on giving head; how to do it, when to do it, with whom to do it, the topics are endless. I thought I would approach the subject from a different angle, I hate being like everyone else.
This is not an instructional piece as the title would lead you to believe, more so, it’s a dissemination of opinionated information… Whose opinion, well mine of course!
If you’re settling down expecting to get my view on giving head in the sexual manner, you might be disappointed, but linger around to read a bit more, it may still be of interest to you.
Last minute warning: some degree of intelligence is required to be able to get the full effect of what's written. No offense to those on the slow side.
There is more than one meaning to giving head. The term usually brings thoughts of oral sex, be it a man and a woman, a man and a man, or a woman and a woman, something is getting licked or sucked in a sexual manner. I like to think of giving head in a more literal sense, it’s nice to actually get something from a cognitive perspective. Don’t confuse giving head with playing head games, they are two separate things. I’ve done both and had both done to me, believe me, they are NOT the same.
Giving good head involves knowing the receiver well enough to provide a stimulating environment. Nothing is worse on a date than stale conversation. I’d rather the restaurant serve me stale bread than my date bore me with stale conversation. Giving good head should arouse the cognitive senses, awaken the Medulla Oblongata; afterall, this is the part of the brain that controls automatic functions including heartbeat, breathing, etc.
If you’re thinking I’m crazy and this has nothing to do with actually giving head, ponder me this...Cunnilingus is perhaps one of the most enjoyed forms of sex for women. As I look at the word, another word jumps out at me, its quite easy to form the word cunning, a word with several meanings, one of which is “executed with or exhibiting ingenuity”, another being “delicately pleasing”. Imagine being able to perform cunnilingus on your mate without ever taking off her clothes, its not a hard task, but it will require some brain power; user your head first, mouth second, and when using your mouth, let it be to speak eloquently yet subtly erotic to her; it’s a clever form of teasing that will take you far.
Find your woman’s mental clitoris and massage it gently. Let your conversation and companionship stroke her cerebellum, the area controlling her balance, posture, movement, and muscle coordination; If you can get this spot stroked just right she’ll find herself quickly mesmerized by you. If you’ve managed while giving mental head to reach a point where you can kiss her, don’t just use your lips, involve your hands. Gently hold her head as your are kissing her, applying the lightest of pressure to each side of the head, just above the ears; not only are your kissing her, but now you are caressing the temporal lobe of the cerebrum, the area that contains centers of hearing and memory. She will hear you, even though you aren’t speaking and your kiss will remain a pleasant memory, that is if you know how to kiss!
Ok, I’ve given away far more than I had planned… remember, this is only my view of giving head, and my opinions on how to do so. If you don’t like them, come up with your own. If you don’t think you can come up with your own, that should tell you something. If you think you can, do. No excuses. If you still don’t like my views, find some you do like; Life is too short to be miserable. If you do like my views, I commend your good taste!
If your goal is to get some sexual head later, you might want to focus on giving some good mental head first.
Part II coming soon, Mental Stimulation….. nah, let’s leave well enough alone :-)
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Sex and the Single Stud
Ok, we’ve talked about dating; assuming things are going well for you on the dating scene, let’s jump to the fun stuff – SEX! Now we all know that even though its cool checking out new places, trying new restaurants, and doing all the regular dating things, our ultimate goal is to have some earth shaking sex… Oh yea, and fall in love, LOL!
Although sex may be on our minds the minute we leave out the door heading to meet our woman, it’s not a good idea to let that be the driver for your evening. Sex is best when it occurs spontaneously; when both parties have reached the decision that its time to move to the next level. To me, pre-planned sex is never as good as that impromptu (spur of the moment for you slow folks) heated connection.
Just because we want it to occur naturally, and not be some planned item on an agenda, does not mean that one shouldn’t be prepared; this goes for both Studs and Femmes. If you are a Stud that prides herself on being a master of the strap, by all means, please have the damn thing handy! There is nothing worse than having bragged to a woman about your strap skills and then NOT having a strap! Now I’m not suggesting that you walk around 24/7 wearing your strap, that could be quite uncomfortable, but I am suggesting that you find creative ways to have what you need handy. There are plenty of ways to do this; there are tons of unisex bags that can carry all your necessary items and are also pretty fashionable. I tend to favor the Nike drawstring bags that are easily carried on the back and come in multiple colors. Not only can I take all my essential sexual items, but also any other day-to-day things I might need. Its closes tightly and prevents wandering eyes from seeing the contents.
Femmes, I’ll keep it short and simple. Keep the pubic area nicely trimmed, choose your underwear as if you were doing a photo shoot for Victoria’s Secret, and a little perfume goes a long way! A lot of perfume RUNS people away! Hands and feet should not be neglected. I hate seeing a beautiful woman and then checking out her feet only to discover they look like she has been driving a car in through Bedrock in the Flinstones!
On the issue of safe sex, Ladies, just because we are sleeping with other ladies does not mean we are excused from having to practice safe sex. It is a myth that HIV/AIDS and other diseases are not easily spread between women. Even if the statistics were to show that less than 1% of lesbians contracted HIV/AIDS via sex with another woman, why would you risk it???? Would you be willing to be that less than 1%?? Not me! I am not an advocate for volunteering and I damn sure would not volunteer to die!
If you’re using a strap, buy some condoms. It’s just that simple. Walk in the store and BUY SOME CONDOMS! Don’t let them sit in your dresser drawer until the latex sticks to the foil, use the damn things! If you’ve never used one before, Practice, Practice, Practice. It’s not attractive to be fumbling around when the big moment arrives. Yes, I know there is more to Lesbian sex than using a strap, but I’m not giving a semester long safe sex class, just writing a blog entry, go out and educate yourselves on safe sex as it pertains to the Lesbian community, familiarize yourself with the things available to assist in having safe sex.
Do Me, Do You – The give and take. Ok, I’m gonna get some nasty stares from some Studs on this, but WTF, when has that ever stopped me! Femmes, I love you, love making love to you, but I will NOT give you my all in the bed and have you give me nothing in return! Unless this is some pre-arranged agreement and money has exchanged hands, you will be reciprocating! (as a side note, I do not sell sex!). Just because I am a Stud and identify with more masculine tendencies does not mean that I have issues with you touching me, going down on me, etc. Hell, you can do me first! I know that my opinion is not shared by all Studs so my suggestion if that you know your mate and have an understanding of what’s expected.
After Sex – Well, I’m sure there are a million things that could take place after sex; cuddling, snuggling, more sex, breakfast, quiet talk, blah blah blah… If you happen to be at my house after sex please do not expect me to make you breakfast, I am a terrible cook; feel free however to cook for me! If you have been invited to stay the night, yes, I expect you to shower! I don’t care that I was just between your legs; I do not wish to be smelling your ass while I sleep or when I wake up. Same thing goes for dental hygiene, brush before you lay head to pillow. Yes I know that’s my pussy on your breath, doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want to smell it when I wake up in the morning (even though I’m sure it smells sweet! LOL). If you haven’t been invited to stay the night, please do not be offended when I ask you to call me when you get home… this is your queue that its time for you to roll out, I’m sleepy and ready for some shut eye. If you miss the queue, you will be soon after hearing my favorite phrase, “Kick Rocks”!
I think that’s enough to get us all started now go forth and F*@k!!! LOL
Have a great weekend! I’ll be traveling this weekend but will be checking in on your blogs to see what you guys are up to; I enjoy reading each of your pages!
Although sex may be on our minds the minute we leave out the door heading to meet our woman, it’s not a good idea to let that be the driver for your evening. Sex is best when it occurs spontaneously; when both parties have reached the decision that its time to move to the next level. To me, pre-planned sex is never as good as that impromptu (spur of the moment for you slow folks) heated connection.
Just because we want it to occur naturally, and not be some planned item on an agenda, does not mean that one shouldn’t be prepared; this goes for both Studs and Femmes. If you are a Stud that prides herself on being a master of the strap, by all means, please have the damn thing handy! There is nothing worse than having bragged to a woman about your strap skills and then NOT having a strap! Now I’m not suggesting that you walk around 24/7 wearing your strap, that could be quite uncomfortable, but I am suggesting that you find creative ways to have what you need handy. There are plenty of ways to do this; there are tons of unisex bags that can carry all your necessary items and are also pretty fashionable. I tend to favor the Nike drawstring bags that are easily carried on the back and come in multiple colors. Not only can I take all my essential sexual items, but also any other day-to-day things I might need. Its closes tightly and prevents wandering eyes from seeing the contents.
Femmes, I’ll keep it short and simple. Keep the pubic area nicely trimmed, choose your underwear as if you were doing a photo shoot for Victoria’s Secret, and a little perfume goes a long way! A lot of perfume RUNS people away! Hands and feet should not be neglected. I hate seeing a beautiful woman and then checking out her feet only to discover they look like she has been driving a car in through Bedrock in the Flinstones!
On the issue of safe sex, Ladies, just because we are sleeping with other ladies does not mean we are excused from having to practice safe sex. It is a myth that HIV/AIDS and other diseases are not easily spread between women. Even if the statistics were to show that less than 1% of lesbians contracted HIV/AIDS via sex with another woman, why would you risk it???? Would you be willing to be that less than 1%?? Not me! I am not an advocate for volunteering and I damn sure would not volunteer to die!
If you’re using a strap, buy some condoms. It’s just that simple. Walk in the store and BUY SOME CONDOMS! Don’t let them sit in your dresser drawer until the latex sticks to the foil, use the damn things! If you’ve never used one before, Practice, Practice, Practice. It’s not attractive to be fumbling around when the big moment arrives. Yes, I know there is more to Lesbian sex than using a strap, but I’m not giving a semester long safe sex class, just writing a blog entry, go out and educate yourselves on safe sex as it pertains to the Lesbian community, familiarize yourself with the things available to assist in having safe sex.
Do Me, Do You – The give and take. Ok, I’m gonna get some nasty stares from some Studs on this, but WTF, when has that ever stopped me! Femmes, I love you, love making love to you, but I will NOT give you my all in the bed and have you give me nothing in return! Unless this is some pre-arranged agreement and money has exchanged hands, you will be reciprocating! (as a side note, I do not sell sex!). Just because I am a Stud and identify with more masculine tendencies does not mean that I have issues with you touching me, going down on me, etc. Hell, you can do me first! I know that my opinion is not shared by all Studs so my suggestion if that you know your mate and have an understanding of what’s expected.
After Sex – Well, I’m sure there are a million things that could take place after sex; cuddling, snuggling, more sex, breakfast, quiet talk, blah blah blah… If you happen to be at my house after sex please do not expect me to make you breakfast, I am a terrible cook; feel free however to cook for me! If you have been invited to stay the night, yes, I expect you to shower! I don’t care that I was just between your legs; I do not wish to be smelling your ass while I sleep or when I wake up. Same thing goes for dental hygiene, brush before you lay head to pillow. Yes I know that’s my pussy on your breath, doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want to smell it when I wake up in the morning (even though I’m sure it smells sweet! LOL). If you haven’t been invited to stay the night, please do not be offended when I ask you to call me when you get home… this is your queue that its time for you to roll out, I’m sleepy and ready for some shut eye. If you miss the queue, you will be soon after hearing my favorite phrase, “Kick Rocks”!
I think that’s enough to get us all started now go forth and F*@k!!! LOL
Have a great weekend! I’ll be traveling this weekend but will be checking in on your blogs to see what you guys are up to; I enjoy reading each of your pages!
Saturday, February 7, 2009
The Overnight Bag
Ladies... Let me begin by saying I love you all, short or tall, big and small (but not too butch!). Now that we have that out of the way, lets get down to a troubling matter... The Overnight bag!
I am in favor of both Femmes and Studs keeping a bag packed with the essentials for an impromptu overnight stay or weekend getaway. What I am NOT in favor of is those of you (and I can only speak about Femmes) that keep the damn bag in the trunk of your car and who try to use it with anyone that gives you 15minutes of conversation, a drink and a dance!
Nothing presents itself as a bigger turnoff than a woman with a weeks worth of clothes trying to come home with me and "chill for a while"! In the past when folks new how to get up, brush their teeth and go home, the Overnight bag was not a problem. NOW, the sight of an overnight bag just screams "I have nowhere to be and can just lay over at your place for an extended stay".
Come on ladies, especially my Femmes, tell me whats the deal with the Overnight bag????
I am in favor of both Femmes and Studs keeping a bag packed with the essentials for an impromptu overnight stay or weekend getaway. What I am NOT in favor of is those of you (and I can only speak about Femmes) that keep the damn bag in the trunk of your car and who try to use it with anyone that gives you 15minutes of conversation, a drink and a dance!
Nothing presents itself as a bigger turnoff than a woman with a weeks worth of clothes trying to come home with me and "chill for a while"! In the past when folks new how to get up, brush their teeth and go home, the Overnight bag was not a problem. NOW, the sight of an overnight bag just screams "I have nowhere to be and can just lay over at your place for an extended stay".
Come on ladies, especially my Femmes, tell me whats the deal with the Overnight bag????
Thursday, February 5, 2009
The Deal
It seems many people feel that I am against longterm relationships or monogamy in general. This is far from the truth, however I am against the fairytale illusion of it all, or perhaps I've just come to understand that the "magic" in these relationships isn't magic at all, its work, skill, and effort folks! Plain and simple, there are no magic relationships beans out there... If there were, I'd be selling them to all the "waiting to get hitched" folks!
Here's The Deal, literally... Relationships are the equivalent of business deals. Planning, research, time, effort, and money (yes, you have to spend some money!) are but a few key ingredients necessary to be successful in either of the two. There are Sole Proprietorships, Limited Partnerships, Partnerships, Corporations, etc. when it comes to businesses, the same goes for relationships. Just because I may have more than one woman in my life does not mean I'm not operating a successful business, I am simply operating in the mode of a corporation and opening my stock to the public!
For those of you looking for that "one on one" partnership, you will need to go the extra mile in doing your homework. You wouldn't open a business and invest your life savings with someone who
1)Just got out of jail
2)Can't read or write
3)You can not fully trust
4)Has mental issues
5)Is broke
6)Has multiple failed businesses in their recent past
7)Wants their baby's daddy to be involved in the business
8)Is ashamed to be seen with you in public or tell anyone about you
9)Is stalking their last business partner
10)Is being stalked by their last business partner.
If you wouldn't except these things in a business partnership, please tell me why in the HELL you would accept them in a relationship!
As for me, I have been carefully researching some very promising options for entering into a partnership. I have come to the conclusion that my findings lead me to believe I am better served by a Sole Proprietorship at the moment. Although I have longterm dealings with one prospect, I am skeptical that we still have the same goals and want the same outcome. Another prospect has recently proven that the trust factor is not yet strong enough. Based on my findings, I will put the idea of partnership aside and operate alone.
Here's The Deal, literally... Relationships are the equivalent of business deals. Planning, research, time, effort, and money (yes, you have to spend some money!) are but a few key ingredients necessary to be successful in either of the two. There are Sole Proprietorships, Limited Partnerships, Partnerships, Corporations, etc. when it comes to businesses, the same goes for relationships. Just because I may have more than one woman in my life does not mean I'm not operating a successful business, I am simply operating in the mode of a corporation and opening my stock to the public!
For those of you looking for that "one on one" partnership, you will need to go the extra mile in doing your homework. You wouldn't open a business and invest your life savings with someone who
1)Just got out of jail
2)Can't read or write
3)You can not fully trust
4)Has mental issues
5)Is broke
6)Has multiple failed businesses in their recent past
7)Wants their baby's daddy to be involved in the business
8)Is ashamed to be seen with you in public or tell anyone about you
9)Is stalking their last business partner
10)Is being stalked by their last business partner.
If you wouldn't except these things in a business partnership, please tell me why in the HELL you would accept them in a relationship!
As for me, I have been carefully researching some very promising options for entering into a partnership. I have come to the conclusion that my findings lead me to believe I am better served by a Sole Proprietorship at the moment. Although I have longterm dealings with one prospect, I am skeptical that we still have the same goals and want the same outcome. Another prospect has recently proven that the trust factor is not yet strong enough. Based on my findings, I will put the idea of partnership aside and operate alone.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Married Women
As of lately, I have been approached by quite a few married women. I’m starting to see that those behind the veil of matrimony might be the most bi-curious folks around! At first I thought it was kind of flattering and I was a bit intrigued, but as I get to know these women and ponder being involved with them sexually, I have run into several things that just don’t fly with me. For instance:
How can you be in a “relationship” with me…. You’re married!
You feel you have the right to get angry with me for seeing other people – NEGATIVE!
Your life is bland and you need a change – You’ve been married for years, I’ve known you a few weeks. I can’t change the world in a week or so, and since when did it become my responsibility to change your world??
You keep telling me to be careful, your husband is jealous, yet you leave your damn cell phone open to text messages… why don’t you just paint the poor bastard a sign and tell him we’re fucking! Come on now, I’m not married, you are, why don’t YOU be careful and I’ll just keep being ME!
On the issue of sex, NO, I am not going down on you. If I wanted to suck your man’s dick I’d do it firsthand, not with you as a middle person! We do what we do or we do nothing at all!
What’s the deal with you leaving him??? Why are you doing it?? I hope it’s not to be with me because you’re positioning yourself for disappointment. Yes, I will sneak around with you; No, I will not make you my woman. Sorry, you’re a cheater, that’s how I got hooked up with you remember???? You have a man, a child, a house, what’s better than that? Stay with what you know, I’m not what you need.
Lastly, I do not wish to hear about how badly your man treats you, you’re cheating on him, what do you expect flowers!!??!! It’s not my cross to bear that you married a man you can’t stand. What does how he treats you have to do with me?? I want no part of that. My time spent with you is strictly for stress relief so don’t bring stress with you!
If you’re having problems staying within these guidelines put your feet in the road and kick rocks!
How can you be in a “relationship” with me…. You’re married!
You feel you have the right to get angry with me for seeing other people – NEGATIVE!
Your life is bland and you need a change – You’ve been married for years, I’ve known you a few weeks. I can’t change the world in a week or so, and since when did it become my responsibility to change your world??
You keep telling me to be careful, your husband is jealous, yet you leave your damn cell phone open to text messages… why don’t you just paint the poor bastard a sign and tell him we’re fucking! Come on now, I’m not married, you are, why don’t YOU be careful and I’ll just keep being ME!
On the issue of sex, NO, I am not going down on you. If I wanted to suck your man’s dick I’d do it firsthand, not with you as a middle person! We do what we do or we do nothing at all!
What’s the deal with you leaving him??? Why are you doing it?? I hope it’s not to be with me because you’re positioning yourself for disappointment. Yes, I will sneak around with you; No, I will not make you my woman. Sorry, you’re a cheater, that’s how I got hooked up with you remember???? You have a man, a child, a house, what’s better than that? Stay with what you know, I’m not what you need.
Lastly, I do not wish to hear about how badly your man treats you, you’re cheating on him, what do you expect flowers!!??!! It’s not my cross to bear that you married a man you can’t stand. What does how he treats you have to do with me?? I want no part of that. My time spent with you is strictly for stress relief so don’t bring stress with you!
If you’re having problems staying within these guidelines put your feet in the road and kick rocks!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Dating 101
Ok Studs, get seated and pay attention, I am only going to go over this once. The ladies are complaining that they aren’t being dated properly. For those of you in long-term relationships, your mates are saying the romance is gone. Don’t ask when I spoke to your girl, that’s not important! Back to the issue at hand, dating. I’m sure you’re thinking you are Playa of the century and your game is top notch…. Ummm, that’s not the case. All of us can use some tips on stepping up our game from time to time.
New Relationships –
Depending on the type of women you date, its important to put some time and thought into planning a successful date. I prefer those high maintenance women so it takes me a few days to line everything up just the way I want it. Planning is essential if you want your girl to really feel courted. If anyone ever told you being a Stud or Aggressive Femme was easy, well, let’s just say they lied!
If you’ve been up on your game with the woman you are dating so far, you should have some idea of what interest her, the food she likes, and the places she doesn’t like, etc. Use this information to your benefit. If you know the woman is allergic to shell fish I wouldn’t take her to a seafood restaurant! Restaurant choice is important in making the date successful. If you aren’t well versed in choosing a restaurant, let the internet be your friend. Go to citysearch.com for your city and check out what’s hot on the restaurant scene. Word of advice, make your reservations at least 3 days in advance.
Now that you know where you’re going to eat, let’s talk about the meal itself… Studs, you have GOT to increase your wine knowledge!! Be prepared to suggest various wines depending on what’s ordered for the meal. It’s not cool ordering desert wine with the entrée. As a last resort, when in doubt, ask. Have the waiter make some suggestions for you.
Be prepared to spend between $100 - $150 on a nice restaurant, that’s right, it cost to do the damn thang right! For those of you that are frowning… just send your woman on over, I’ll take her out for a nice meal, of course she’ll probably want to feed me something afterwards and I doubt you would like that so get ya cheap asses in gear! Stop wasting your money on junk and splurge a little on your girl!
Have some options other than the club for after dinner. If you’ve kept the lines of communication open you should know the things that interest her. Most city museums are open late on Friday and Saturday nights. Get some culture, go check out an exhibit. It is not necessary to go to a “gay” spot. We are not segregated from society, branch out and try new things. Pick a live music spot, maybe some jazz. Have some drinks and some conversation. If the weather is nice, take a walk down-town, unless of course you are in the ghetto! I wouldn’t suggest walking around at night in a high crime area.
When the date is over, don’t expect sex, you can HOPE for it, but don’t expect it. What you should expect is to hear that she really had a good time and wants to see you again. Get a couple of these dates under your belt and sex will happen, trust me!
You Married Folks –
Just because you’ve been snuggling up next to her for a while doesn’t mean you can get off your job, your woman still needs to be romanced. If you slip on romancing your woman too long she’ll be calling and dammit I will be FORCED to answer! I’m a civil servant and must help those in need!
How about sending your woman some flowers, hell get off your ass and TAKE your woman some flowers! Surprise her on her lunch hour and take her out for some mid-day romance. Replace “what are we doing this weekend” with “would you like to have dinner with me Friday”. A simple change in words puts a new spin on an old situation. Perhaps she is tired of making love in the same bed she has to change the sheets on every week, why not check into a hotel after dinner and let someone else make the bed in the morning! Spend the whole weekend away from your humble abode. Explore parts of the city that you rarely visit, browse a bookstore together and discuss some literary interests. Find a park bench, sit her down and tell her all the reasons why you fell in love with her and all the reasons why you’ll always love her. Trust me, if you slip on doing these things your view of her will be her backside as she’s leaving your ass!
For My Femmes
If your Stud goes through the trouble of doing all these things, the least you can do is BE ON TIME!!!
Also, if you met you woman at the corner store she more than likely will not venture more than a few blocks FROM the corner store so you probably shouldn’t expect the treatment described above. If you pick a lemon off the lot it probably won’t take you far and will soon break down on you!
Fellas, if you stumbled upon this blog as you were wandering aimlessly around the internet, its cool, the same tips apply to you!
I’m off to plan my weekend…
New Relationships –
Depending on the type of women you date, its important to put some time and thought into planning a successful date. I prefer those high maintenance women so it takes me a few days to line everything up just the way I want it. Planning is essential if you want your girl to really feel courted. If anyone ever told you being a Stud or Aggressive Femme was easy, well, let’s just say they lied!
If you’ve been up on your game with the woman you are dating so far, you should have some idea of what interest her, the food she likes, and the places she doesn’t like, etc. Use this information to your benefit. If you know the woman is allergic to shell fish I wouldn’t take her to a seafood restaurant! Restaurant choice is important in making the date successful. If you aren’t well versed in choosing a restaurant, let the internet be your friend. Go to citysearch.com for your city and check out what’s hot on the restaurant scene. Word of advice, make your reservations at least 3 days in advance.
Now that you know where you’re going to eat, let’s talk about the meal itself… Studs, you have GOT to increase your wine knowledge!! Be prepared to suggest various wines depending on what’s ordered for the meal. It’s not cool ordering desert wine with the entrée. As a last resort, when in doubt, ask. Have the waiter make some suggestions for you.
Be prepared to spend between $100 - $150 on a nice restaurant, that’s right, it cost to do the damn thang right! For those of you that are frowning… just send your woman on over, I’ll take her out for a nice meal, of course she’ll probably want to feed me something afterwards and I doubt you would like that so get ya cheap asses in gear! Stop wasting your money on junk and splurge a little on your girl!
Have some options other than the club for after dinner. If you’ve kept the lines of communication open you should know the things that interest her. Most city museums are open late on Friday and Saturday nights. Get some culture, go check out an exhibit. It is not necessary to go to a “gay” spot. We are not segregated from society, branch out and try new things. Pick a live music spot, maybe some jazz. Have some drinks and some conversation. If the weather is nice, take a walk down-town, unless of course you are in the ghetto! I wouldn’t suggest walking around at night in a high crime area.
When the date is over, don’t expect sex, you can HOPE for it, but don’t expect it. What you should expect is to hear that she really had a good time and wants to see you again. Get a couple of these dates under your belt and sex will happen, trust me!
You Married Folks –
Just because you’ve been snuggling up next to her for a while doesn’t mean you can get off your job, your woman still needs to be romanced. If you slip on romancing your woman too long she’ll be calling and dammit I will be FORCED to answer! I’m a civil servant and must help those in need!
How about sending your woman some flowers, hell get off your ass and TAKE your woman some flowers! Surprise her on her lunch hour and take her out for some mid-day romance. Replace “what are we doing this weekend” with “would you like to have dinner with me Friday”. A simple change in words puts a new spin on an old situation. Perhaps she is tired of making love in the same bed she has to change the sheets on every week, why not check into a hotel after dinner and let someone else make the bed in the morning! Spend the whole weekend away from your humble abode. Explore parts of the city that you rarely visit, browse a bookstore together and discuss some literary interests. Find a park bench, sit her down and tell her all the reasons why you fell in love with her and all the reasons why you’ll always love her. Trust me, if you slip on doing these things your view of her will be her backside as she’s leaving your ass!
For My Femmes
If your Stud goes through the trouble of doing all these things, the least you can do is BE ON TIME!!!
Also, if you met you woman at the corner store she more than likely will not venture more than a few blocks FROM the corner store so you probably shouldn’t expect the treatment described above. If you pick a lemon off the lot it probably won’t take you far and will soon break down on you!
Fellas, if you stumbled upon this blog as you were wandering aimlessly around the internet, its cool, the same tips apply to you!
I’m off to plan my weekend…
Monday, February 2, 2009
Lying From The Inside
Everyone lies. It’s a simple but true fact. As humans we are predestined to lie at some point during the course of our lives. This does not necessarily mean that all people are pathological liars, just that we all feel a need to bend the truth for our benefit, especially in those tight situations when the truth might cause hurt to someone we love or care about.
What about when we lie to ourselves, I mean really LIE to ourselves to the point that we start to believe what we are saying. It may begin as a slight “bending of the truth” to help you get through a situation, but eventually snowballs into a refusal to face the truth.
Being in love is normally something people are joyous about, they want the whole world to know that they’ve found that special person and all is right in the universe. It seems almost insane that a person would lie to themselves and others, insisting that they were not in love when truthfully they know they are.
Lying from the inside can come from a desire to not be hurt. Using the rationale that if I tell myself and the world that all is okay, it will be, a person is simply prolonging the inevitable; the day when they have to own up to the truth. The pain of letting the truth surface can be harsh but in the long run will prove to be better than living a lie.
Unto thine own self be true.
What about when we lie to ourselves, I mean really LIE to ourselves to the point that we start to believe what we are saying. It may begin as a slight “bending of the truth” to help you get through a situation, but eventually snowballs into a refusal to face the truth.
Being in love is normally something people are joyous about, they want the whole world to know that they’ve found that special person and all is right in the universe. It seems almost insane that a person would lie to themselves and others, insisting that they were not in love when truthfully they know they are.
Lying from the inside can come from a desire to not be hurt. Using the rationale that if I tell myself and the world that all is okay, it will be, a person is simply prolonging the inevitable; the day when they have to own up to the truth. The pain of letting the truth surface can be harsh but in the long run will prove to be better than living a lie.
Unto thine own self be true.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Maintain Your Lane
If you are wondering, no, this does not literally pertain to driving, traffic, or anything motor-vehicle related, the term is metaphorically used. Maintaining Your Lane in this blog refers to the art of knowing your place with your significant other or people you are dating.
Recently I have been told by a few women that I am not relationship material. When asked how they came to that conclusion, I was told that I 1) date too many women 2) make no mention of monogamy, and 3) am a Player.
In response to these accusations, I am writing about “Maintaining Your Lane”. I have always felt that many people are not good daters. They tend to go out with someone and in the next day or so, that person is labeled as their girlfriend or boyfriend. Usually the relationships are short-lived. I attribute the short lifespan to the fact that both parties did not “shop around” before attempting monogamy.
I am a strong advocate for dating and try to date as much as possible. I never hide the fact that I am dating and leave it up to the females that I ask out as to whether they want to be involved with someone that obviously enjoys the company of multiple women. This in no way means that I never want to be in a monogamous relationship. I am simply surveying my options in an effort to make the best choice for longevity in a relationship. If I have some fun during this process, well, that’s just an added bonus!
When dating multiple women, I find it important that they each be aware of each other and avoid collisions, hence the “Maintain Your Lane” slogan. It is not okay to request that I spend every weekend with you, call you everyday, or not be seen with another female at the same restaurant where we ate at last week. Doing any of these things sets off an annoying sound, that of you hitting the “dummy bumps”, you know, the little bumps that separate the lanes on the highway! There are many indications that you are on the dummy bumps, such as me telling you to stop whining, me asking you to respect my time with others, etc. Once an indication has been received that you are on the dummy bumps, the appropriate actions are to either correct the situation and ease back into your lane, or get off the road! When each party maintains their lane, the dating ride can be a safe and fun trip, but when one or more parties forgets their place and ventures into traffic, accidents will happen and people will get hurt!
For all those ladies that I am dating or may date in the future, if you can’t maintain your lane, please don’t drive on my freeway!
Recently I have been told by a few women that I am not relationship material. When asked how they came to that conclusion, I was told that I 1) date too many women 2) make no mention of monogamy, and 3) am a Player.
In response to these accusations, I am writing about “Maintaining Your Lane”. I have always felt that many people are not good daters. They tend to go out with someone and in the next day or so, that person is labeled as their girlfriend or boyfriend. Usually the relationships are short-lived. I attribute the short lifespan to the fact that both parties did not “shop around” before attempting monogamy.
I am a strong advocate for dating and try to date as much as possible. I never hide the fact that I am dating and leave it up to the females that I ask out as to whether they want to be involved with someone that obviously enjoys the company of multiple women. This in no way means that I never want to be in a monogamous relationship. I am simply surveying my options in an effort to make the best choice for longevity in a relationship. If I have some fun during this process, well, that’s just an added bonus!
When dating multiple women, I find it important that they each be aware of each other and avoid collisions, hence the “Maintain Your Lane” slogan. It is not okay to request that I spend every weekend with you, call you everyday, or not be seen with another female at the same restaurant where we ate at last week. Doing any of these things sets off an annoying sound, that of you hitting the “dummy bumps”, you know, the little bumps that separate the lanes on the highway! There are many indications that you are on the dummy bumps, such as me telling you to stop whining, me asking you to respect my time with others, etc. Once an indication has been received that you are on the dummy bumps, the appropriate actions are to either correct the situation and ease back into your lane, or get off the road! When each party maintains their lane, the dating ride can be a safe and fun trip, but when one or more parties forgets their place and ventures into traffic, accidents will happen and people will get hurt!
For all those ladies that I am dating or may date in the future, if you can’t maintain your lane, please don’t drive on my freeway!
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